After a long absence, I decided to go to church today. The only one on the way back home that I could get in time is St. Francis Xavier in PJ. Father whatsisname was halfway through his sermon already when I arrived.
The congregation filled the church and spilled to the outside. Among the many solemn faces were the bored, yawning looks of the youth. I actually looked forward to the Mass, the hymns, the feeling of God. I came to try and earn back what I lost: The gift of faith. Instead, the dry, dreary pace of the Mass made everything so heavy and somber. It felt like a funeral. To make it worse, some of the songs were in Latin.
It’s a dead language. Why bother using it? The organ accompanying the old voices sounded like a funeral siren, and the Latin sounded weird. It’s not our language, I feel it’s irrelevant. That’s why I miss the masses in Kuching. The songs are uptempo, the band with the electric guitar, drums and tambourines. You could feel the spirit in the air.
It’s as if the church is going backwards sometimes. Why is the Youth Mass the only one that celebrates the Mass energetically? I’m not surprised so many youths stop attending Mass once their outside the confines of home and family. No one to drag you to church now.
The Mass Rites are also so tedious sometimes. Think Good Friday and Easter. About the only time SO MANY Catholics actually go to Church. (These are the ones that go on 3 occasions, Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Christmas. Maybe they feel if they go for these it’s enough to cover for the unpaid Sundays kot. But a lot of them would be standing outside talking in between prayers. Nuff said.) So many procedures done, and many don’t even know the significance. Sometimes keeping things simple is best, regardless of Church Tradition.
And when peace is given, people only bow quickly to each other, usually without even a smile. In Kuching we’d shake hands or hug. That’s why it feels so much more unfriendly here.
Now even if it’s a boring Mass with a boring Father, I can still go through it because I’ve understood the meaning of the Mass. Boring or not, I could just have my conversations with the Man upstairs. But the youths haven’t reached that level of maturity yet. You need to draw them in, then slowly educate them. Build the foundations. Then when they grow up, their solid foundations will carry them through.
Many churches faces the same things. I think that’s why Empowered was created. The revive back the dead spirit. I really admire these bunch of 30 somethings who came back and pioneered a movement that exploded onto the Catholic scene in Kuching, bringing back more than just games and temporary fun. They brought back the energy and passion that went missing since the slow demise of YCS (Young Christian Students). YCS, an international organization that spans the globe, with the International Office in Paris and the Asian Team in Manila. Every few years the Asian Session and the World Council is held. But the problem is that the sessions, where students get to meet international delegates and join together in a community, is temporary. They’re fired up for a while, and then they gradually subside to being just another face in the crowd. I was once there. It’s pointless. Malaysia doesn’t have the charismatic leaders it needs to empower the youth. Penang YCS is dead. And it used to be the strongest. Kuching YCS used to be on the rise but has been stagnating. The Asian Session just held last week in Kuching ended on a good note. But I doubt the impact on the youth at large.
In conclusion, despite all the World Youth Days and stuff, the Church is beginning to abandon the youths again.
That’s why I admire the Protestant churches. Their Praise and Worship, their fellowship and their spiritual activities are really inspiring, and we could learn a lot from them. The youths are actually interested in carrying on the message. Partly I think because their pastors or ministers are really passionate in encouraging their youth sections. The Catholic Church has a big problem in that most priests aren’t trained on how to handle youths. The previous priest in charge of the youth was lacking. The one now is doing a very good job. You need to be cool to attract the young. Speaking Latin ain’t gonna cut it.
And you’re probably wondering why I’m not doing anything to help the situation. Simple, I myself am having a crisis of faith. And until I get that back, then can I fully commit to doing what I can for the youths.
A friend told me this.
When we are young, we live and study in a sheltered environment. Far from the harsh realities of life. We think we have faith, we believe and we rejoice. Then when we enter the world on or own, when we go college or work, our faith is tested. Our morals, our judgments, our ethics, our faith is challenged by everybody and everything. Slowly we begin to lose what we used to take for granted. We thought we have faith, but what we had was just the illusion of faith. If we can hold on to that despite the odds, then you can say you have faith. Your faith is like a rock on sand. Slowly with time the sandy foundation is washed away but the rock remains. You just need to rebuild the foundation with something much more solid than rock. That way your faith will stay anchored. If not even rocks crumble if left alone too long.
When I think back on her words, I began to realize how true it was. So I’m slowly searching, and maybe, one day I’ll receive that elusive gift of faith.
